I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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