Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize