So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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