So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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