You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
