and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
