my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
