so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
