Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
