I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
