Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
