i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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