Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize