after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
