i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I just googled if crying burns calories
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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