My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
