seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
i've created a new STD.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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