i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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