I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
