I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
And then he peed in my hair
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