I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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