Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
