I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
