Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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