apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
