i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
