we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
