Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
