I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
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