I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
