if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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