Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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