you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
