Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
