Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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