Michael Bay diarrhea
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
