how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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