you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
where are my eyebrows?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
