But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Houston, we have a squirter
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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