OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Sext me about skeletons
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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