Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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