totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize