You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
...so i touched it.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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