just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
