you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Randomize
