If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
