Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize