This dress was meant to end up on your floor
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
