I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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