Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
