this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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