Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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