Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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