In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Apparently you make a good broom.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
