We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Terrible idea I love it
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
