Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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