Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize