Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
