i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
i believe in u and ur pee
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
we should paint friendship bongs
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
